Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize