I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
