Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
