Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize