Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
