I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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