i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
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