I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
