Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
