btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize