i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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