I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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