okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
