If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
