Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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