hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
