Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
