what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
