Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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