Have you finally orgasmed yet?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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