tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
