The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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