were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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