My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
