I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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