his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The best revenge is premature balding
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize