I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
