yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
