if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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