Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
