Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
