ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
