How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
