wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
