What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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