Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
tell me about the fingering
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