I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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