I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
