Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
