So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize