Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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