so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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