How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
