I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
