It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
