I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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