at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
