how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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