your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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