what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
