I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize