He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
