At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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