hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize