I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Randomize
