so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
