i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
