My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
