you mean i was at the winter classic?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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