looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
