I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
