he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Never underestimate the power of titties
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
