i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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