Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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